yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Randomize