do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
