That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
