u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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