my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
