Whod you bang
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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