he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
