dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
