She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It's blow job season.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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