Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
