I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
