well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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