ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
