That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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