when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
