smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
