READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
