So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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