if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
