i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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