Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
