Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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