I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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