i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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