i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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