I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
