This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
did you just send me my own nude
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
