I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
