So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize