I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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