Moan for me like Helen Keller
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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