ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
