I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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