I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
there is glitter all over my balls
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