I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
