you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Be still, my beating vagina.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
