so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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