Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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