no, he came in my armpit
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
