At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize