craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
