Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
