I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
