I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
