I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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