I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
