omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Come on in and take your pants off
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