So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
