I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
