Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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