from now on my penis is your penis
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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