I just saw a hot homeless man
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
