Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
