I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
