As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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