Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
