Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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