At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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