take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
