We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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