come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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