he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
