1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
