No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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