what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Sober January is a disaster.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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