I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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