Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
