I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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