GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
