fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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