do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
