He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
