Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
