I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
