y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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