Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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