bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
