She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
