tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
