Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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