Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
