toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
