i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
