OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
