you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
