my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize