Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
