well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
