420 ftw
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
